The other Day
The other day in my post, Fear, I wrote about stopping playing the guitar because of fear. I ended the post with something like maybe someday the guitar will come back. Maybe I will find that I am both a writer and a musician. I don’t have an answer to that but in my mind, it was a question. I didn’t expect God to do anything with it. I didn’t expect it so soon. I wrote about it last week and opened my heart to the possibility of someday, maybe. It wasn’t a real hope or dream, just maybe. Well…, let me tell you what happened this week.
Facings Tons of Fears
I had been invited to a Bible study at the home of someone I didn’t know. Hubby goes to a men’s group on Tuesday night so I was going to be going alone. The person who invited me unexpectedly was not able to go. She said, “You should go, you will have fun.” Hubby said the same thing. I was ready to back out. I am an introvert. I was going by myself to interact with a bunch of new people. It hit all my panic buttons. I went. I had to use GPS since it was in an area that I had never been. GPS was wrong; it said that my destination was on the right. There was nothing but a field on my right. Have I mentioned that I have no sense of direction? I wanted to go home. I called my hubby. He called the leader of his men’s group. It was his parent’s house that I was trying to get to. I found the house and there were no cars there. I was already 15 minutes late. I knocked on the door.
Fortunately, I was in the right place. All my fears said that I was knocking on the wrong door. They invited me in and showed me where the food was. Dinner was being served before the meeting. The food was good, simple fare served on paper plates. There was an open seat next to the lady of the house, Mrs. A. She invited me to sit next to her and introduced me to all. I began to relax, they weren’t going to eat me for dinner. I know it sounds silly now, but I don’t do well with crowds by myself. I was so far out of my comfort zone last night. But He was with me.
Mrs. A. finished dinner and grabbed her guitar. I later found out that she was the worship leader for this group. She was laying out her music as we chatted. She asked if I played. She caught me with a mouth full of food. There must have been some expression on my face that she caught. She continued speaking like I answered yes. She said I thought you played, I could tell. As I am still chewing, she said that people tell her all kinds of reasons why they don’t play. She said that most people play better than she does because she only knows a few chords. I swallowed my food and told her the truth. Yes, I did play but haven’t picked up a guitar at all in a few years because of fear. I told her that I played classical guitar and not a steel string like hers. She took what I said at face value. She didn’t try to talk me out of my fear or tell me that it was silly. All she did was turn to one of her daughters and say, “She plays classical guitar.” Then she went back to preparing for worship.
Worship was not what I expected. Several of the churches that we have attended have a worship style that feels like you are going to a concert. It is neither good nor bad; it is a style. It is hard for the average person to join in and sing. This was far from that. Her style was beautiful. It was far from professional; it was simple and inviting. All could join in. She led four songs. Two were traditional hymns. The hymnals were sitting on the kitchen table for those who needed the words; me. Then she sang two songs that the style was more contemporary. I knew those words.
While this was wonderful, it was not what caught my attention the most. When she sat down to play, three of her grandchildren got their guitars to join her. I am guessing at the ages but they ranged from about 10-15. No one tuned their guitars to play as a group. If you know anything about musicians, tuning is a big deal. Mrs. A. mentioned that they haven’t tuned for a couple of weeks. If someone was out of tune, it wasn’t noticeable. I could only see the face of the youngest. He would stop playing and look confused at certain parts of the song. But, he kept going. The two older ones would stop at certain places too. No one mentioned a thing. No one cared that it wasn’t perfect. When worship time was over, all four put their guitars away. The eyes were not on the musicians. It was all about worshiping Jesus.
Next week, yes I am going back, I want to bring my guitar. I won’t know the songs. I will forget a chord here and there but it is a start. It feels like a safe place to start anew. Maybe, just maybe, I am a writer and a musician too.
What about You?
Are you and God working through something that you find fearful? He tells us in Isaiah 43:2 that he walks through things with us. He is there to hold your hand in the fearful times.
When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.
You are His lamb. He holds your hand as you walk through.